


Not a fairytale

by shutupmulder



Category: Fallout - Fandom, mission Impossible: fallout, mission impossible - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Dark, F/M, Hurt, Pain, Torture, relationship, very dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-06-26 00:10:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15651768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shutupmulder/pseuds/shutupmulder
Summary: Some missions are worse than others. This was one of them.Warning: Graphic depictions of violence.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, warning: Graphic depictions of violence.

Ethan had gotten a bad feeling about this mission even from the beginning. That shady business man presumed-to-be-terrorist Stefan Mikhailov would all of a sudden appear out of nowhere with big plans was suspicious. The source of the information wasn’t entirely reliable either. Ethan had had a feeling that it was a set up. 

He was both right and wrong. The weapons were real, several smaller bombs including one nuclear weapon which meant Ethan had been wrong about the plans.

What he was right about was that they had been set up, Mikhailov and his men knew who the IMF agents were the moment they had arrived at the party.

The party was located at Mikhailov’s mansion in Moscow. Ethan and Ilsa were guests while Benji and Luther were three kilometers away in a van, running the tech. 

It was the kind of mission that Ethan hated. Ethan was only there to watch Ilsa’s back because she was the one running the show. Stefan Mikhailov loved women. It was something that everyone knew. It was also his weakness and that’s where Ilsa came into the picture. 

Ethan wasn’t the overprotective jealous type, but seeing the woman you love flirting with another guy would be hard for anyone. Especially when seeing her kiss another man, like she did at the party three days ago. 

Of course he knew the kiss and the flirting was only because the mission required it, he knew that she hated doing it. Especially this mission since according to rumours, Stefan Mikhailov was a real creep and described as a psychopath.

She had been wearing a short, tight black dress which showed off her curves. Her lips were a deep red, her eyes smokey black and her slick hair was pulled backwards. No wonder Mikhailov had fixed his eyes on her. Any man would have. And they had. 

But it was only Ethan who in the end got to go home with her. To see the real Ilsa. The one who laughed and occasionally cried - not just the stone cold facade she had in her job. 

Things had gone well at the party. Seduction was something she was skilled at and it didn’t take long before they had shared a kiss at the bar and Ilsa had followed Mikhailov up to his room. Once there she had knocked him out, taken the access codes for the bomb and put a tracker in his phone so they would know where he was going next.

The agents had left the house together, walking out instead of running for once. 

The problem showed up when they had entered the codes - the numbers were wrong. Mikhailov had made sure that Ilsa had gotten fake codes. That is when they started realise that it had been a set-up. And that was when things started going downhill. 

—

Ethan sat with his arms and legs tied to a chair. Next to him were Benji and Luther, also tied up. Ilsa still hadn’t been seen. The last thing they knew was that Ilsa was on her way to the control room to push the button that would stop the nuclear weapon. 

They didn’t know how much time had passed after they were captured since they had all been shot with tranquillizer guns. 

Ethan was worried. Not just for the fact that he didn’t know if or when the bomb would go off, but also because he didn’t know what had happened to Ilsa. 

All of a sudden the door opened. Two men in dark clothes entered, after them came two more men carrying an unconcious woman with light brown hair covering her face as her head hung low. Ethan didn’t have to look twice to know it was Ilsa. 

After them came no other than Stefan Mikhailov himself. They threw Ilsa down on the floor and she made no sound. Ethan could see her hands were tied behind her back, along with her feet tied together. 

”Ethan Hunt.” Mikhailov said, walking slowly over to Ethan. ”I’ve heard a lot about you.” He bent down to look Ethan closely in the eyes, studying him for a few seconds. Ethan stared back, keeping his face blank. 

”I’ve heard of the American who seems to be.. unstoppable.” He turned his head to the right. ”Yet here you are. Tied up.” He raised his eyebrows a little. 

”Benji. Luther.” He nodded to each of them. 

”While I would like to have a longer chat with you, I’m afraid I’m in a bit of a hurry so let’s just get this started.” He turned around walking over to Ilsa’s unconcious body on the floor, and without warning kicking her in the middle. 

”Hey!” Ethan shouted out at the same time as Benji did. 

Ilsa groaned, starting to wake up, trying to move her hands and feet. She slowly opened her eyes, adjusting to her surroundings. 

”Wakey wakey.” Mikhailov said in a tone that sounded as if he was talking to a five year old. 

Ilsa turned her head at the sound of his voice, staring into the dark eyes of Stefan Mikhailov. 

She scanned the room, seeing the rest of her team tied up, leaving her with a uneasy feeling in her stomach. She locked eyes with Ethan, and they shared a quiet moment together. 

”So. Let’s just get right into it.” Stefan said. ”One of you four have changed the coordinates for where the bomb will detonate. It’s now somewhere over the Pacific Ocean. After changing the coordinates, the person also changed the password, making none of us here able to get the right coordinates back.” The room was completely silent. 

”It could be either of you since you were all found close to one of the computers where you are able to change it.” 

”Now, in order to change the coordinates you need to hack into the computer, which is not an easy thing to do with ours. Which leaves me with thinking that it is either Luther or Benji who did it since they have the most experience in tech.” He slowly paced around Benji and Luther as he was talking. 

”However.. from all the rumours I’ve heard there is apparently nothing that Ethan Hunt can’t do. Which leaves also you as a possible hacker in this unsolved mystery.” He looked pointedly at Ethan as he passed him by. 

Ilsa and Ethan looked at each other again. This man was an absolute creep, especially by the way he talked. 

”But we’re not finished, dear agents, no.” He pointed his fingers out to the air. 

”A reliable source told me.. that Ilsa Faust is an exceptional computer hacker. One of the best that MI6 had, even when she was a field agent.” He walked back to Ilsa again. 

”And where does that leave us?” He answered his own question immediately, raising his voice, almost shouting. ”It leaves us with the fact that anyone of you could have done it.”

Ilsa closed her eyes briefly, this man was even scarier than she had thought. Mikhailov took a deep sigh as he continued. 

”I underestimated you. I led you here, but you outsmarted me even when you had gotten caught in my trap. I underestimated you, but I am telling you, do not underestimate me. I will do anything to get the password. Now, this is the moment where the one who did it steps forward.” He said, his gaze moving between each of the agents who sat in complete silence. 

”I don’t like repeating myself,” he said. ”Will the person responsible please step forward and tell me the password. Now.” Still no response from the agents. 

”Okay then. You want to do it the hard way? Fine.” He said, eyes getting darker with anger. ”You chose this.” He kicked at Ilsa’s side with enough force to turn her over onto her back. 

He straddled her middle and his fist connected with her face one, two, three, four, five, six times. The sounds of the blows along with her groans echoed in the quiet room. Ilsa gasped for air as he stopped, turning her face to left, spitting out blood from her mouth. 

”You son of a bitch.” Ethan snarled, his wrists starting to bleed from his efforts trying to get out of the handcuffs. 

”Ooh, I think someone likes her. Just like we had predicted, especially after seeing you at the party. You want this to stop, loverboy? You can make it stop. Who knows the password?” He looked at each agent once more, daring them to talk. He had a crazy look in his eyes, almost as if he was enjoying this. 

”Okay.” Mikhailov said after getting no response. ”Let’s continue then. Guard!” He screamed, sneering at Ilsa, reaching out his hand to the one of the guards who gave him a knife. Ilsa did her best to not look frightened as he stroked the blade against her cheek. 

”Oh my. You are so pretty. Even more so when you are bleeding.” He dragged the blade over one of the scars he had given her on her cheek with his fists. ”I remember when you seduced me at the party. You were so hot. But you knocked me out.” He said as the edge of the knife dragged lightly across her throat. 

Ilsa’s eyes didn’t leave Mikhailov’s. She certainly couldn’t look at Ethan now. She could only imagine the anger in his face at the sight before him. 

”But I prefer it like this.” He said, as he all of a sudden raised the knife and buried it deep into her shoulder blade making her moan out loud. 

”No!” Ethan yelled, and Benji and Luther briefly closed their eyes at the sight. 

As the blade was inside, Mikhailov started to slowly twist and turn it around, making Ilsa scream. 

”You want this to stop?!” Mikhailov yelled looking at Ethan. ”Then stop it!” 

”You would just kill her anyway, even if we told you the password.” Ethan said, trying to get control of his emotions. 

”Yeah, I will. But if you give me the password I promise to make it quick.” 

”No..” Ilsa managed to get out as Mikhailov had stopped rotating the knife. ”No Ethan, Benji, Luther.. you can’t. Don’t give him what he want- Aah!” She screamed again as Mikhailov twisted the knife. 

”Who is it? Who has it, Ilsa?” He put more force this time, getting the knife deeper. 

Ilsa just screamed. 

”Tell me!” He yelled, continuing his ministrations. 

”I won’t tell you.” She said loudly, panting, and he stopped moving the knife around. 

The ringtone of a phone echoed in the room.

”Sir?” One of the guards said. ”You have a call.” Mikhailov sighed, getting off Ilsa, leaving the knife buried in her shoulder, taking the phone from the guard and walking out of the room.

—

Ethan was boiling inside as he watched the Russian terrorist walk out of the room. His eyes turned back on Ilsa, who lay helpless on the floor, panting, trying to catch her breath after the torture. 

Ethan had never felt more helpless. Seeing Mikhailov hurting her was killing him inside. ”Take me.” He wanted to scream but that would only make it worse. 

Ethan would gladly take her place. The problem is, he knows he can’t do it. Benji, Luther and Ethan all knew that Ilsa was the one who changed the coordinates, probably because she for some reason couldn’t just deactivate the bomb. They also knew that if they told Mikhailov that Ilsa was the one with the password they would torture Ethan, probably threatening to kill him now that they thought Ethan and Ilsa were together.

Enduring pain is something every agent has been trained to do. Both Ilsa and Ethan have endured torture several times, never giving information that had been wanted. However, it was different when it came to watching a team member get tortured, and especially in this case where your team member is your lover. 

There’s no telling if Ilsa would break if they started torturing Ethan in front of her, she probably wouldn’t, but it was a risk they couldn’t afford to take. Hundreds of thousands of lives were on the line. And Ethan knew that it would be easier getting tortured yourself than seeing somebody else, someone you love, get hurt. 

And that’s why they all had to continue the charade, playing their parts as if Ilsa wasn’t the one who knew the password. It had to remain that way. 

What was truly scaring Ethan was that he knew that no help was coming.

Their tech had completely lost it’s function before they had even discovered Mikhailov’s secret hideout place in the Siberian woods. They had expected that he had a bunker somewhere in the forest. They had their eyes on him, but the tracker that Ilsa had put in his phone had suddenly stopped working in the middle of the woods and that’s why they were searching around that area. The team would radio in the location in order to get backup from Brandt and another team who were searching a little further west.

The problem was that their tech started malfunctioning before they found the secret bunker. Not long after that they had found the bunker and a shootout had started. Ethan could see that at least one escape way, going North, was rigged with explosives. Since there were no good hiding places around the bunker and they had lost their communications they had only one choice - go inside the bunker. Which Ethan now realised had been a mistake - it had all been a trap. 

And so Brandt had no idea where to look for Ethan and his team. They were on their own.


	2. Chapter 2

Mikhailov burst back in through the doors, a man behind him carrying a laptop that was put on a desk where everyone could see it. 

On the screen was a timer for the bomb. 

Currently at 29 minutes and 35 seconds. 

”As you can see.. I’m in a hurry.” He walked over to another guard and took out a new knife. 

”Is it you, Ilsa?” He walked past her as he moved towards Ethan. ”You were the last one captured, you had the most time.” 

Mikhailov walked around Ethan and put the knife at his throat, pressing carefully, drawing a small drop of blood. 

”I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Ilsa said matter of factly. ”What if he’s the one?” 

”Yeah, what if..” Mikhailov murmured, removing the knife from Ethan’s throat and burying it in Ethan’s thigh. Ethan groaned as Ilsa, Benji and Luther all closed their eyes momentarily. 

”Don’t you get it?” Ilsa said. ”It doesn’t matter what you do to us, what you make us watch, we won’t tell you. Not for one or four lives over hundreds of thousands.” Ilsa was speaking to pass the time, they had to stall Mikhailov so that he would hurt them as little as possible before the clock ran out or backup would arrive.

”Mm.” Stefan said, walking around the chair to face Ethan. ”I don’t know about that..” he said as he gave Ethan a wicked smile. ”Is she good?” He asked. 

Ethan stared at him, puzzled. 

”In bed? Is she good?” Ethan’s lips were pressed together tight as he tried to remain unaffected. Their relationship would definitely be best to be kept a secret in a situation like this. 

”I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ethan said. 

”You don’t? Well why don’t we find out?” He said as he turned around and walked towards Ilsa. 

”We’ll need to untie her legs though. But I don’t trust her, I know what she can do with her legs. Chair!” He yelled to a guard who brought forward an empty chair. Two guards went to pick Ilsa up and brought her to sit on it. They removed the binding of her legs but tied her right leg to the chair as the left one was free. 

One of the guards sat down in front of her, grabbed a hold of her free leg, pulling it out straight and holding it firmly in place against his own body. Ilsa was chewing her lip nervously as she wriggled her leg, trying to break free. 

Mikhailov had walked over to another door of the room and came back with an iron rod. Ilsa swallowed as she watched him walk towards her. 

”You got anything to say?” He looked at Ilsa who stared back at him with a determined face that said no.

He nodded as he raised the iron rod above his head and brought it down on her knee. The crack was unmissable in the otherwise quiet room, and Ilsa’s groan followed immediately. 

”Oh, I’m sorry.” Mikhailov said in a sneering tone as he brought it down on her knee again, and this time Ilsa let out a short scream as the iron connected with her already broken knee. He hit her four more times and Ilsa’s face was contorted with pain, sweat breaking through as she tried her best to not scream. The guard released her damaged leg, making her whimper at the pain.

”You don’t have to act so brave, Ilsa. There’s nothing brave for what’s gonna happen next.” He said as he hit her with the rod at the side of her face, making her fall off the chair. 

”Oops.” He said, voice emotionless, as she lay motionless on the floor, blood dripping from the deep gash on the side of her forehead. ”Didn’t mean to hit so hard.” 

The three agents had watched in horror at what Mikhailov did to Ilsa. Hearing her knee break in more than one place and hearing her scream afterwards.. it was too much for anyone to bear. Ethan was shaking, tears threatening to fall from his face, Benji sat slumped in the chair, limbs limp from the effort of trying to break free and Luther was looking down in defeat. 

Mikhailov untied the leg attached to the chair and turned the unconscious Ilsa over onto her back. He removed the knife from her shoulder blade, using it to cut open her shirt, revealing a black sports bra. 

He looked at Ethan as he carefully laid his hand on her breast. Ethan decided it was best not to react or say anything since this would only intrigue the Russian terrorist further. 

Stefan continued with unbuttoning her black pants, taking them off her legs. Ilsa groaned in her unconscious state as he took it off her broken leg. 

”Time to wake up.” Mikhailov said, slapping her on the side of her face. Ilsa was completely out of it, not waking up. 

Mikhailov put his finger in the knife wound on her shoulder blade, wriggling it around in a not so gentle way. Ilsa opened her eyes, groaning at the pain. She saw stars for a moment, she definitely had a concussion. 

”There you are.” He said, removing his finger. 

”I was thinking we should get to know each other a little better.” He said, dragging his hand down her belly. 

Ilsa turned her head to the side, as if she couldn’t bear to look at what he was doing. It was all part of a play, instead her eyes locked with Ethan’s.

”Stall him. Brandt is coming.” She mouthed to him, and Ethan’s eyes widened a little at her words. Had she been able to send out a distress signal as well as changing the coordinates?

”What?” Mikhailov shouted, seeing her mouth move but not being able to see what she said. ”What did you tell him?” He grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her, making her groan. 

”Nothing.” She said. Mikhailov’s face turned a deep red now, the anger was imminent and he was done playing games. He sat back up, straddling Ilsa as his hand went to unbutton his pants.

”Stop.” Ethan said. ”Stop it, please.” Ethan sounded pleading. 

Stefan let go of Ilsa, looking at Ethan, waiting for him to continue. 

”I want to make a deal.” Ethan said patiently. 

”What deal? Spit it out.” Mikhailov asked, the sweat on his face showing, nervous that he wouldn’t be able to get the password from the agents. 

”I don’t just want her to get a quick death. I want her to be able to get out of here alive.” He said, looking at her with sad eyes. ”All of them. You won’t lay a hand on them.” Oh, he was good, Ilsa thought as Ethan played his new part. She was just scared that this heartless creep wouldn’t fall for it. 

Ethan and Benji hadn’t seen what Ilsa had told Ethan but they knew that he was up to something.

”And what about you?” Stefan asked. 

”I’ll stay behind. You’ll give us a moment alone together, all four of us, and then I will stay behind and enter the password as I get proof that they are leaving.” 

”Do you think I’m stupid?” Mikhailov angrily responded. ”That I think you’d actually give me the password when they’re leaving? I’m torturing your girlfriend right now and you’re not giving it to me. Who the fuck do you think I am, Ethan Hunt?” He reached for the gun at the back of his pants.

”You think this is a game? You think you can get your little friends out of here while saving the world? Let me tell you something.. there’s no getting out of here. Not without the password. There’s no quick death. I’ll make sure you all suffer. Starting with her.” He pointed the gun to Ilsa’s already injured leg and fired a shot in her thigh. 

Ilsa bit back the scream, a whimper coming out of her mouth. 

”I’m gonna kill you. I promise you, I’m gonna kill you.” Ethan managed to say through his clenched teeth. Mikhailov smiled at Ethan’s anger.

”Not before I kill her first.” He sneered. ”Let’s get this bullet out, shall we?” He stuck his finger in the bullet wound, making Ilsa squirm. 

”I think it’s too tight to get it out.” He said after a few moments. ”I think the knife will help.” He took out the knife again and started to cut around the edges of the bullet wound. 

This time Ilsa couldn’t hold back the scream. Her eyes were squeezed shut, trying to block the pain out as the knife opened up the wound further. Stefan ignored Ethan’s protests.

”Do you think I can get it out now?” He said, removing the knife and probing his fingers inside the wound. 

Suddenly, the door opened and a guard walked in. 

”Sir! There’s something you need to know.” Stefan’s fingers exited her wound, making Ilsa let out a sigh, trying to regain her breath.

”We weren’t able to hack the password, however the security cameras are on another channel, a weaker one, and we managed to get into them. We looked at the time when the coordinates changed and as you can see here,” he pulled out a photograph ”she was the only one on a computer around that time.”

Mikhailov eyed the photo of Ilsa Faust sitting by the computer - typing. He smiled to himself. 

”Well, well.. someone has been a bad girl.” He clucked his tongue as he looked at Ilsa. 

Ethan, Benji and Luther looked at each other in fear. Mikhailov knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More will come..


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PREVIOUSLY:
> 
> Mikhailov eyed the photo of Ilsa Faust sitting by the computer - typing. He smiled to himself. 
> 
> ”Well, well.. someone has been a bad girl.” He clucked his tongue as he looked at Ilsa. 
> 
> Ethan, Benji and Luther looked at each other in fear. Mikhailov knew.

”What shall we do with this bad girl?” Mikhailov said, relief showing in his face that he had come at least one step closer to getting the password.

”Now, Ilsa, don’t be shy. What is the password?” He stroked her leg gently, around the edges of the wound. 

No answer. 

”Fine then. You know, it’s funny it ended up like this. I’m glad it’s you, Ilsa. I must admit I am very.. interested in you.” He said. “After finding out you were planning to destroy my plans when going to my party.. I looked you all up. And I have very good researchers. The best. So now I wonder.. did you ever find him?” He continued stroking his finger around the wound. 

Confusion took over Ilsa at his words. 

“The man who who destroyed your life? The one they call “Z.T”. And if I’m not wrong,” his other hand reached around her neck and started feeling with his fingers just at the point where her neck met her hair, “ah, yes, there it is. His initials.”

Ilsa’s eyes widened now. She was shocked that Mikhailov knew about it since not even her employers or most of her friends knew about this. Except Ethan who had asked gently about it a few months into their relationship when he was caressing the back of her neck. She hadn’t told him then. It wasn’t until three months ago that she had told him the truth about it, the truth of why she became a spy. To find Z.T.

Mikhailov chuckled at her face. 

“Mm, yes, I know. That must have been so hard for you. How old were you when it happened, Ilsa? 13?” He shook his head. “He broke you. He broke your family. So you became a spy, following your father’s and uncle’s footsteps even after you personally had seen the consequences of the job. Only to find him. Yet here you are, many years has passed by and you still haven’t found him. How does that feel?” He smirked at her. 

If looks could kill, Mikhailov would be dead by now. He studied her for a few seconds before he continued.

“Now, I am very thorough in planning and research and as you know my social network is quite impressive - I know most of the drug lords, smugglers etcetera - the so called bad guys that you risk your life to hunt down. Now, they are very loyal to me. What if I told you that when I asked them about a contract killer called Z.T one of them actually knew him?” He said.

“You’re lying.” She said matter of factly. She wouldn’t listen to this sick bastard.

“I understand you think that. But I am not. I know his real name and I know where he resides. I know where you could find him. And I will tell you all of that if you would just give me the password.” He gave her a sad smile, almost compassionate, something she definitely had not seen before. “I want you to find him. I want you to get your revenge for what he did. You give me something and I give you something back.”

Ilsa couldn’t believe this was happening. She knew he was lying. She told herself that, she had to. He was lying. And even if he wasn’t, there was no way she would tell him the password. Ever. Mikhailov waited patiently for her reaction. 

“Fuck you.” She said through clenched teeth, an expression that was very uncharacteristic for her, especially in a serious situation and not just used as a joke. On occasion she would let out a "fuck" when something bad happened or when something felt good or satisfying. But not like this. 

“How dare you?” She continued, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. “How dare you speak of him to me? Lie to me? Do you think I trust you? You are sick and I will not hear you speak of my past again.” She said boldly. 

Mikhailov smiled at her fierceness. 

“I had to try. Somewhere deep inside I knew you wouldn’t believe me, no matter how I said it. And I’m sorry for that, because I am your one chance to finding him. Oh, and just so you know, his real name has nothing to do with his initials.” He angled his head slightly to the left as he saw her reaction to his words. “Buf if this is how you want it to be, you’re giving me no choice.” 

He got up, walked away from her, taking long strides towards Ethan’s chair, getting his gun out. He stopped at Ethan’s side, pointing the gun at his head. 

”No more games. I don’t need him, he’s worthless to me. The question is, is he worthless to you?” Ethan’s eyes found her worried ones. Mikhailov was going to kill Ethan right in front of her. And it would be her fault, she was the only one who could save him. But she wouldn’t do it. She couldn’t do it. 

Ethan smiled at her encouraging, trying to give her strength. A small tear was running down his cheek.

Mikhailov lowered the gun, firing a bullet in Ethan’s leg, making him groan. 

”I’ll put another, another and another bullet in him, nowhere near fatal, until you give me the password. And I’m good at this, good at keeping people alive for as long as possible, I’ve done it before and I have more guns if I run out of bullets.” He smiled at her devilishly as he put the next bullet in Ethan’s left upper arm. 

”What’s it gonna be, sweetheart?” He asked Ilsa who had tears in her eyes as she lay on the floor, helpless, her own physical pain weakening her mind and making it even worse when seeing Ethan getting hurt. She closed her eyes. 

”I can’t..” she whispered. 

”Yes you can. You can still save him.” He hit Ethan with the gun in his face, making his nose bleed. 

”No..” she said, barely audible as she looked back up at him. 

Ilsa had no choice. She had to play her last card. Pretend she was gonna give him the password for Ethan’s life. If Brandt and his team wouldn’t have found them by the time Mikhailov knew she was lying.. it would be over. But it would be over soon for Ethan if she didn’t so something.

Just as Stefan was about to shoot Ethan in the shoulder Ilsa spoke up. 

”Wait. I’ll do it. I’ll tell you.” She whispered brokenly, tears streaming down her face. 

She gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head, but Ethan noticed it. He knew she wouldn’t actually give him the password. She was faking it. And Mikhailov would be furious when he found out. 

”Yes?” Stefan said impatiently, trying to determine whether she was telling the truth or not. 

”Just don’t hurt him.” She pleaded, acting broken.

Mikhailov walked over to Ilsa, straddling her stomach once more and pointed the gun to her throat.

“Give it to me. Now” He said angrily.

“No, Ilsa. Don’t do it!” Ethan yelled, faking desperation, he knew she wouldn’t give Mikhailov the right password but he also knew they needed every little second they could get. 

“Shut the fuck up, or I’ll gag you. Or wait, no, I will cut out your tongue.” He smirked at Ethan before turning his head back at Ilsa. 

”No. Fucking. Games. Last warning or I shoot him in the head.” He said, and Ilsa closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath.

”Okay.” Ilsa sighed. “The password is: One, seven, four, three, three, eig-” she gasped loudly, eyes wide open in panic. The guard who had started typing in the numbers on the laptop stared with the rest of the people in the room at Ilsa.

She started breathing heavily in very quick breaths. 

”Ilsa?” Ethan shouted.

Mikhailov stared at her dumbly. It couldn’t be a trick, could it? 

Her chest was heaving and she was gasping for air. 

”Turn her over to the side.” Ethan said loudly. Mikhailov did as told and as she lay on her side she started coughing violently, blood coming out of her mouth. 

It took some time before the coughing stopped, but eventually they did and she was getting her breathing back to normal.

”Tell me.” Mikhailov said. ”Now.” 

Ilsa looked into his eyes as she started over.

”On-.” She croaked, not finding her voice. She coughed a few more times, her throat sounding really dry. 

”Wa-. Wate-.” She whispered brokenly. 

Stefan took a deep sigh, trying to control his anger, but he trusted her for the moment. 

He looked at one of the guards who in turn spoke on his walkie to someone. Mikhailov looked at Ilsa as he waited, her disoriented eyes were shiny blue. She looked so small lying there, blood everywhere, her face was almost completely drowned in red, the iron rod had caused a deep wound in her face. Yet she looked strong. He had to admire her courage. It wasn’t until he hurt someone else that she started talking. If she wasn’t lying if course.

The door opened and a guard ran inside with a bottle of water, handing it over to Mikhailov. He opened it, holding the bottle to her open mouth. She couldn’t swallow at first, coughing up the first few sips, but then she could get it down. She gulped six times before he removed the bottle. 

”Now. Tell me.” He looked at her with his dark, intense eyes. 

Ilsa turned her head to look at Ethan one more time before she turned back to Mikhailov. 

”One,” the guard started typing in the numbers again ”seven, four, three, three, eight, five..” she stopped speaking. Mikhailov raised his gun at Ethan.

”It has to be eight numbers. The last one?” Mikhailov spoke.

Ilsa waited a few seconds, stalling as much as she could, but she knew Stefan wasn’t bluffing so she had to give him the last number. Even if that would expose her lie. 

”Nine.” She finished quietly.

Silence filled the room as they all waited for the man typing in the numbers’ reaction. Ilsa held her breath without realising it. 

”Wrong password.” The guard said. 

The silence was deafening when the meaning of the words sank in. What seemed like a minute of silence was probably no more than just a few seconds. 

”So you made your choice.” Mikhailov said looking down at her, raising the gun at Ethan and at the same moment the gun was fixed on him, the door exploded, bringing the two guards closest to it down. Stefan turned towards what was left of the door, firing three bullets into the smoke as he with his other hand took a hold of Ilsa, dragging her backwards further away from the door. 

He raised her up to a sitting position, and he sat behind her, using her as a shield. Her back fell against his chest, she didn’t even have enough strength to sit upright. His gun was pointed right at her throat.

Through the smoke came five men dressed in black.

They took out the three remaining guards in the room and pointed their guns towards Mikhailov’s position. 

”Drop the gun.” One of them said. Even in her drowsy state of mind, Ilsa could hear it was Brandt.

”And why should I do that? So you can kill me?” He sneered. ”If I’m going down I’m taking the bitch with me.” 

Ilsa knew she had to do something. It was the only chance. She slowly slumped her head forward as if she wasn’t able to hold it up, then she gathered all what was left of her strength and threw her head back, groaning at the effort. 

She could hear the crack of his nose against the back of her head and as he momentarily let go of her in his dizzy state of mind she threw herself forward down to floor, hearing several gunshots before everything went black. 

\--

Pain. That was the first thing her mind could register. She was too tired to even open her eyes. The pain was everywhere, burning her and she whimpered at it. 

”Ilsa?” She could hear a distant voice. Was it Ethan? Was he okay? What happened?

Before another question popped up in her mind she started drifting back to sleep. 

”No, Ilsa you need to stay awake.” She heard a desperate voice say. She heard another person saying something but she couldn’t hear it. 

”No, I am not giving her anything to wake up with the state she is in. No way. I’ll wake her up myself.” His tone turned more gentle now. 

”Ilsa. It’s Ethan. Open your eyes.” She slowly blinked, opening her eyes a little. 

”There you go.” She saw him smile, but she could see the worry still on his face.

”Wh-” she began. ”H’pened?” She managed. 

”He’s gone. Mikhailov is dead, but he shot you in the back and the bullet went clean through and we’re trying to stop the bleeding. A helicopter is on its way to get you to a hospital.”

”Ethan.” A warning voice said.

”Yeah, I know. Look Ilsa, we need to try and stop the bomb, there’s only seven minutes left. Even with your well placed coordinates there could still be ships around there.” He said, as he gave her some water. 

”Okay.” Ilsa nodded, stopping immediately as pain exploded through her head at the motion. 

”It’s 5 3 6 5 8 2 4 3.” 

”Got it!” She heard a voice after a few seconds. 

”Ethan..” she whimpered. ”I’m so tired.” 

”I know, Ilsa. You did so well. I’m so sorry.”

”Don’t b-, Ethan..” Her voice was getting more quiet with every word and Ethan could see her eyes fighting to stay open. 

”Ethan, my family. You have to-.” She groaned. ”My father..” 

“Yes, Ilsa, as soon as I can I will call him to inform him about the situation. He will make sure they’re all safe. It’s okay.” He stroked her cheek gently, avoiding the most injured side of her face. 

“Thank you.” She managed before the darkness overtook her once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More will come..  
> Finally, the torture parts are over. Thank god. 
> 
> I have always wanted to explore more of Ilsa's past. I have plans for more of it in the next chapters to come, would you be interested in reading it too?
> 
> Thanks for the lovely reviews I have gotten, they really encourage me to write more and faster.. :)
> 
> Btw, if you like Ethan/Ilsa and are into fan videos, I make several of them and they’re on my youtube. Here’s a link to my latest video:  
> https://youtu.be/26J8wSb-x0I


	4. Chapter 4

”It’s not your fault, Ethan.” Luther patted Ethan’s shoulder, repeating the words that both Benji and Brandt had told him earlier. 

Ethan was sitting in the waiting room at the hospital. Brandt had just left to get something to eat at the cafeteria which left Luther, Benji and Ethan alone for the moment. 

Ethan just closed his eyes, shaking his head a little at Luther’s words. Nine hours ago Ilsa had flatlined during the operation. At the moment she was stable, but she was too weak to go through with the operation to repair her leg. 

It had been twelve hours since they had arrived by helicopter at the closest hospital. Ethan hadn’t left the waiting room and neither had Luther and Benji, except for bathroom breaks. Sleep was not even an option. Ilsa was the only thing on their minds.

—

As Brandt bought four sandwiches, a few drinks and some chocolate bars he thought of the recent events. Ethan had barely spoken since they arrived at the hospital and Benji and Luther were not themselves either. Something told Brandt that they wouldn’t leave Ilsa’s side until they knew for certain that she was going to be alright. 

When Brandt and his team had shot Mikhailov, Brandt had been the first one to get to Ilsa. He had to close his eyes for a moment, collecting himself, after turning her on her back and seeing her injuries. 

Her swollen red/purple knee which was twisted in an odd angle, one piece of bone sticking out of her leg. Her thigh which looked like as if someone had been playing with a knife in it and the same thing could be seen on her shoulder. Not to mention the blood, her face was almost drowned in red. 

The other members of his team had quickly untied Ethan, Benji and Luther and it didn’t take long before Ethan reached Ilsa, the worry for her obvious in his eyes. Brandt had seen Ethan’s gunshot wounds but it seemed as if Ethan wasn’t bothered by them at all - his only focus was on Ilsa.

Once at the hospital Ethan finally allowed them to take a look at him him, so they took him to a room connecting with the waiting room to treat his wounds. Luckily, Mikhailov was a good shot and his aim had been perfect for causing as little damage as possible to Ethan. 

As Brandt carried the food and drinks towards the waiting room he couldn’t help but think that this situation was something he had not really witnessed before.

That Ethan would be waiting, not sleeping and barely eating is not that unusual. He is the team leader and he truly cares for his agents, which meant that whenever someone was hurt, he was there for them. One hundred percent. 

However, Brandt had not really seen either Benji or Luther like this before. They hadn’t told Brandt all the details of what happened in the room, but judging by Ilsa’s injuries it was bad. Really bad. And since Mikhailov had wanted the code he had decided to torture Ilsa in front of all of them. They felt responsible. They had been witness to a terrible situation and they knew they couldn’t try to help her, otherwise hundred of thousands would have lost their lives.

Brandt understood why they couldn’t leave her. And if it hadn’t been for the fact that Brandt still had an injured ankle that he received on a mission four weeks ago he would have been on Ethan’s team instead of just the tech guy of the back-up team. He tried not to think about if things had turned out different if he had been with Ethan and his team. Maybe they wouldn’t have been captured, maybe Ilsa wouldn’t be in the operating room fighting for her life. But he pushed all of those thoughts away. 

Deep inside him, Brandt knew things would probably not have been different, and he would have witnessed it all too if it wasn’t for his injury, and no matter how bad he felt about it, part of him was glad he hadn’t been on Ethan’s team. He did not want to see his friend who he had come to care about in the past year since she joined the IMF get tortured. He couldn’t even imagine the pain and guilt Ethan must be feeling.

As he opened the door to the waiting room where he knew his broken friends were seated, he prayed that Ilsa Faust would be alright. 

—

22 hours had passed since they arrived at the hospital and Ilsa was in the operating room again, her leg being operated on.

Benji was asleep in the hospital chair, head hanging at an awkward angle, along with Luther and Brandt. Ethan was still awake, eyes tired as he stared at the wall in front of him, lost in his thoughts.

The door opened and a doctor walked out. Ethan immediately rose to his feet, making the pain in his thigh worsen, but he ignored it as the doctor walked up to him. The three sleeping agents woke up at the sound of the door and Ethan’s abrupt reaction.

”Mr. Hunt, I am glad to tell you that the operation went as well as it could. Ms. Faust is stable at the moment and will soon be moved to her own room.”

Ethan let out a breath of relief.

”She will make it?” He asked, almost doubting.

”Her internal injuries from the gunshot wound in her stomach was what made her flatline on the operation table, and while we can’t say with one hundred percent certainty that it’s over, she is fine for the time being. She has gotten several blood transfusions, her wounds have been stitched up and the broken bones in her leg have been reset. However, we can’t say for sure that the leg will heal fully, and it will take some time before we know for sure.”

”How long?” He asked. 

”Well.. we won’t know fully until she is able to stand and try and walk with it. Which is at least six weeks.” 

Ethan’s eyes widened at his words. 

”The bones weren’t just broken, several of them were crushed and the damage and the swelling might have affected the nerves more than we know.” The doctor shook his head slowly. ”And to be honest, it’s a miracle she’s alive after all the injuries she had.” The doctor smiled sadly, finding it hard that someone could do all of this to another person. 

”Yeah.” Ethan mumbled to himself. ”Thank you.” He said to doctor louder as he looked up. ”Thank you so much.” A tear was running down his face. Benji put his arm on Ethan’s shoulder as the doctor walked away from them. 

”Hey. It’s okay. She’ll be alright.” Benji said encouragingly. Ethan nodded, giving Benji a small smile, the first one he had since all of this had started the day before. 

Ilsa was going to make it. Still, many questions were eating Ethan inside. 

Will her leg heal properly? Will she be able to walk? Will she be able to work again?

It was Ethan who had recommended Ilsa to the IMF. He who had convinced her to join the agency. And if her leg wouldn’t heal fully, it would be his fault.

—

Not long after the doctor had left did Ethan allow himself to close his eyes, but not before Benji had assured him that he would stay awake and wake Ethan up if there was any change in Ilsa’s condition or if she was moved to her own room.

As Benji watched his close friend’s eyes relax and his breathing get deeper, he was glad to know that Ethan was finally getting some rest. All that had happened since they went into that bunker had been a horrible nightmare. The problem was - there was no way to wake up from the dream because it was real. Benji had watched as the Russian bastard had tortured Ilsa and there was nothing he could do about it. 

Benji’s wrists ached, and the skin had broken in several places. Emotionally, he felt drained. In the job Benji had seen his fair share of horrors but this was on another level. He’d seen his friends getting beaten before, but this was sadistic and brutal torture. 

Benji did his best not to think of how Ethan felt. Benji had become close with Ilsa, much closer than he thought he ever would. When he first met her she almost shot him, then she shocked him with a defibrillator and then she was present as Lane had put a bomb vest on him. After Lane’s escape from prison everything changed. They worked together, in Paris and in Kashmir. And she saved his life. She was tied to a god damn chair, getting strangled, as she managed to get out of it, defeat Lane and save Benji from being strangled. 

Then she joined the IMF, joined their team. The coldness that she always had started to slightly wear off, bit by bit. Of course she still kept it during the missions, but it was when in ordinary situations like waiting, travelling and eating that she became Ilsa. Not Agent Ilsa Faust. She was talking, smiling and laughing. Benji suspected her letting her guard down had a lot to do with the fact that she and Ethan got together. She was relaxed and happy.

Sometimes, more often than Benji would like to think about, Ilsa and Ethan’s relationship became a bit too obvious in both serious and non-serious situations. Unfortunately, in these situations Benji often had a terrible timing with being at the wrong place in the wrong time. Brandt and Luther’s endless teasing didn’t make it better. Most of the time Benji covered his ears and eyes, but more than once he and the rest of the team laughed at it too, including Ilsa and Ethan. They were happy. And if there were any people that truly deserved happiness with all that they had been through saving the world so many times- it was Ethan and Ilsa. 

No one deserves anything like this to happen to them. No one.  
But what was truly bothering benji was one single question. Why did it have to be just Ilsa and Ethan? He shook his head, hoping that both of his friends would eventually be okay. 

\--

The door opened to reveal a middle aged couple walking in to the waiting room. Ethan didn’t wake as the door opened or closed. Benji got an odd feeling as the couple walked towards him and the sleeping team.

“Hello.” The grey-haired man said. “My name is Eric. This is my wife, Stina. You must be part of Ilsa’s team?” He asked friendly but with a hint of sadness, and Benji noticed the man had very clear blue eyes.

“Eric? Stina?” Ethan asked drowsily, trying to hide the surprise in his voice as he slowly got up from the chair. 

“Ethan.” The woman named Stina said as she left her husband’s side to embrace Ethan. Benji stared dumbly at them, which also Luther and Brandt did as they had woken up too.

“I’m sorry.” Stina and Ethan said at the same time as they broke free and Ethan went to shake Eric’s hand. Suddenly Ethan noticed his confused friends.

“This is Ilsa’s parents.” Ethan said as he saw his teams shocked faces. 

“Oh.” Benji said. He quickly regained his composure and introduced himself. “I’m Benji Dunn. I’m sorry about your daughter.”  
Brandt and Luther introduced themselves too. 

“Have you heard anything more, Ethan? The last thing we heard was that she was in the OR to fix her leg.” Eric asked. 

“Yes. The doctor came out,” Ethan looked at the clock on the wall “about 50 minutes ago to tell us that the operation went as well as it could have.” Ethan’s tone worried Eric and Stina, it was obvious that he wasn’t telling them everything. 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Stina took her husband’s hand.

“They.. They don’t know how bad the damage is. It could have affected the nerves more than they can tell. We won’t know for sure if her leg will fully heal until she’s allowed to try and walk on it, which is at least six weeks.” Ethan couldn’t look them in the eyes as he said the words, guilt taking over him. 

“Hey.” Ilsa’s father spoke in a commanding yet kind voice as he collected himself after hearing his daughters’ condition. “It is not your fault, Ethan. Ilsa chose to be there with you. She wants to be there with you. If she knew you were feeling guilty over this she would kick your ass and you know it.” Eric tried to lighten the conversation with his last words and despite the situation it brought a small smile to Ethan’s lips. 

He was right, of course. Ilsa would be furious if someone believed that she was only doing what someone had persuaded her to do, and not whatever the hell she wanted to do. 

“That is true. She would totally do that. It's what she always does.” Luther added to the conversation, drawing a smile from the rest of the group, as they all sat down. Ilsa’s mother sat next to Ethan and she took his hand in hers. It was odd having Ilsa’s parents in their presence. Somehow, it was both scary and comforting at the same time. Now they waited.

\--

Two days later Ethan still hadn’t left the hospital. Once Ilsa had gotten her own room, which made them feel like she was really gonna make it, Benji, Luther and Brandt checked into a hotel nearby. Ethan was sleeping on the small extra bed they had put in Ilsa’s room. It went against the hospital’s regulations but with Ilsa’s injuries and just by looking at Ethan, no one could say no to letting him be by her side. Ilsa’s parents spent the whole day by their daughter’s side too, but they had also checked into a hotel. 

Ilsa had still not waken up. She was on heavy pain medications, however, and it was not an uncommon thing in her condition that she had been unconscious for three days straight. 

It was 6.05AM and Ethan was sitting in one of the chairs by her bed, absently stroking her hand gently with his fingers. His eyes were closed and he was resting with his head back. He had woken up an hour ago and couldn't fall back asleep so he went to sit by her side. 

Suddenly he heard a change in her even breathing. A small moan. He looked up and saw the familiar face of Ilsa waking up, something he had missed more than he realised in the last couple of days. Her brow was slightly more furrowed than it usually was though. 

"Ilsa?" He got up from the chair and sat gently next to her on the bed. 

"Ilsa?" He repeated gently as she slowly blinked and opened her eyes. 

"Mm.." she let out, eyes focusing on the face in front of her. "Ethan?" she said in a small voice.

"Yes." He nodded his head happily, smiling, as if he was a eight year old boy who was asked if he wanted ice cream, "Yes, it's me." 

Ilsa closes her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath.

"Tell me." She said softly. Ethan understood that she meant everything that had happened since she closed her eyes. 

"We're in a hospital in Novosibirsk, Russia. You've been out for over three days. Benji, Luther and Brandt are still here, they're staying at a hotel, and your parents too." 

"They 'kay?" She asked.

"Yeah. They're all fine." 

"And you?" She noticed he looked tired and weary, as if he had gotten barely any rest in the last few days. And if she knew Ethan - which she did - she knew he had not taken care of himself at all, only caring and worrying about her. And she knew he wouldn't admit to feeling terrible, even if he did, both emotionally and physically.

"Me?" He chuckled. "Here you are, beaten and hurt almost everywhere and you're asking me if I'm okay." He raised his eyebrow.

"You know what I mean." She said, but she was too tired to fight this battle with him. 

"I'm good now that you're awake." He said, and that's all she was gonna get.

"Mm, good." She mumbled, eyes fighting to stay open. "I'm t'red." 

"I know. Sleep, love. I'll be here when you wake up." He said gently as she fell back asleep.

Ethan smiled to himself as he watched her sleeping peacefully. She was going to be okay. Now he just had to tell her about her leg, something he did not look forward too. Just thinking about it caused the guilt to wash over him. How will she take it? What will her reaction be? 

He sat back in the chair, closing his eyes once more, pressing the guilty thoughts away and focused on what mattered most at the moment: She was alive and she will survive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More will come..  
> Say hello to Ilsa's parents! What do you all think about that? I have some interesting plans about it.. As for the name of Ilsa's mother, Stina, let's just say it is a Swedish name... 
> 
> I am sorry to tell you, though, that I am going on vacation for a week now on Sunday and I won't have wifi so I don't know when the next chapter will be up. I might be able to write some on my phone, but this is a family vacation which means that I'm going to be chasing after three nephews under the age of four so I don't know how much I will be able to write..


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally another chapter! I’m sorry it took so long. I’m on a more adventurous vacation than relaxing, which means I haven’t been able to write a lot. I’ve also been chasing around three kids under the age of four during the day and partying at night, so yeah.. I don’t have my computer either and I hate writing on my phone. But here it is!
> 
> It starts really angsty and I’m sorry, but it gets happier, I promise. I just needed to include this little flashback with Ilsa’s background.. hope you like it!

~ Two days later ~

Ethan, Eric and Stina sat in chairs next to Ilsa’s bed. They had been talking but now there was a comfortable silence in the room. 

Suddenly Ilsa shook her head lightly in her sleep.

”No..” she whimpered, eyes closed. ”Please, stop.” 

Ethan quickly moved to sit on her bed, talking to her gently. ”Ilsa, it’s okay.” 

”Nej, jag vill inte..” she muttered in Swedish. [English: No, I don’t want..] 

”Lina! No. Don’t hurt her, please.” She said desperately in her sleep.

Ethan stroked her cheek gently mumbling.

”Ilsa, you’re dreaming. It’s okay, it’s just a dream, love. You’re alright.” Ilsa slowly relaxed to his touch and words and fell back into a peaceful sleep. Ethan sighed and closed his eyes. Of course she would dream about it now after what had happened, after Mikhailov had brought it up. 

”Ethan?” Stina said a few moments after witnessing her daughters nightmare.

”Does she still dream about it?” She asked, almost afraid. Ethan knew she must be remembering all the countless times Ilsa probably had nightmares about it as a child. 

Ethan opened his eyes, looking at Ilsa. 

”No. Not often.” He said quietly. ”But there’s something I need to tell you.” He turned to Eric and Stina. 

”When we were captured.. Mikhailov knew about what had happened with Z.T. And he told Ilsa that he also knew his real name and where to find him.” Ilsa’s parents looked at him with wide eyes. 

”Mikhailov wanted to know the password and he would tell her about Z.T in exchange for it. She didn’t believe him. I don’t know if he was lying or not but he told her his real name wasn’t Z.T.” 

”We figured that out some time ago, Ethan. After the search of the initials gave nothing. We also started wondering if Z.T was something he just said to leave a fake trail.” Eric added. 

”Yeah. But the thing is we don’t know for sure - maybe Mikhailov knew about Z.T. And now that chance of finding him is gone.” Ethan sighed. 

”We can’t give up on hope. She can’t. Another chance will come, eventually. One day he will answer for his crimes.” Eric said darkly.

”Yes. One day.” Ethan agreed, turning his head back at Ilsa.

Another short silence lasted before Eric got up from the chair, excusing himself to the bathroom and left Stina and Ethan alone with Ilsa. 

”It’s been so long.” Stina said absently, almost as if to herself. ”I remember waking up almost every night for the first couple years after it happened, hearing her scream and cry out for help.” Ethan turned to look at Stina as she spoke, looking at Ilsa. 

””Take me.” She’d say in her sleep. Wanting him to hurt her instead of Lina.” Stina shook her head lightly. ”She was so brave and strong, even then. My heart ached for her.” She looked at Ethan, now smiling gently at him. 

”What you did just now, it never worked when we tried to stop her nightmares. We couldn’t calm her down when she was asleep. We had to wake her up and it wasn’t easy, she fought in her sleep.” She took a deep breath.

”I’m glad she has you, Ethan.” Tears were glistening in her eyes.

”She needs someone good, someone who takes care of her. Not that she can’t take care of herself, but she needs someone by her side, someone who will always watch her back.” She paused for a moment. 

”You’re a good man, Ethan. I can see how much you care for her, how much you love her and I can tell that she feels the same. Since she introduced you to our family.. There’s a happiness in her that I haven’t seen before. Not since she was an innocent child, before that day that changed everything over 20 years ago.” She smiled wider now.

”But I see that happiness now and it makes me more happy than I can tell you. And I want to thank you for that.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks and Ethan felt one tear escaping his eye too. He left Ilsa’s bed to bend down on his knees in front of Stina’s chair, resting his hand on the side of her face, wiping the tears. 

”You don’t have to thank me. I’m thankful I have her, and I am thankful you’ve welcomed me into your family.” He lowered his hand to lay on top of hers, smiling gently. 

They sat like that for a moment before Ethan walked back to his earlier position in the chair by the bed. Eric soon joined them and together they watched over Ilsa.

 

~ Flashback, ca three months earlier ~

 

Finally some rest. They had been doing mission after mission, no stopping for 23 days. The team were exhausted. Ethan and Ilsa said their goodbyes to Benji, Brandt and Luther at the headquarters before they got into the car and drove to their flat. 

It was Summer and finally they were going on vacation. Four weeks with no work. First they would spend a few days at their flat, mostly catching up on sleep. Then they would go to Sweden and visit Ilsa’s family for two weeks. It would be the second time for Ethan to go there and this time he was looking forward to it more than he did the first time. 

The first time he had been nervous. A bit excited, but mostly nervous. Ilsa had told him a little about her family, that they knew what she did for a living, that her father had been in the business too and that they were nice. Important to mention, she had said, was that their humor was sarcastic and they often used irony when speaking. Just like Ilsa. 

He liked Ilsa’s parents and they were very kind. He found himself enjoying spending time with Ilsa’s siblings and their partners a lot too. They were easy to hang out with and didn’t treat him any differently because of the job he had. They joked about it, as they did with Ilsa too. He was accepted in their family and he was happy for it, especially since he didn’t have any living family members of his own. At least none that he ever visited. 

The day before they were about to leave for Sweden, Ethan woke up at 7am. Ilsa was snuggled up to him, her arm and leg thrown around his body, her head close to his. Ethan lay on his back, her breaths tickling his neck and his body shivered in response. 

His arm snaked around her naked back and his fingers drew lazy circles on the smoothly tanned surface.

They lay like that for a while until she started waking up. 

”Mm, morning.” She mumbled against his neck. 

”Morning sleepyhead.” He turned his head towards hers and pressed a gentle kiss to her mouth. 

”What time is it?” She said as their lips had barely parted, eyes still half closed with sleep.

”Almost 7:30.” He answered as she changed position onto her back, laying her hand across her forehead, something she always did when she woke up before she stretched her loins. 

”I still feel like I haven’t had enough sleep and we’ve barely done anything else than sleep the past couple of days.” She slowly opened her eyes as she finished her sentence. 

Ethan had turned onto his side, propping his head up on his elbow as he watched her. 

”I can recall we’ve done more than just sleep. Like last night.” He smiled at her as she rolled her eyes at his words. 

”Mm, you think you’re so clever, love.” She touched his cheek for a moment. 

”I know I am.” He answered, still smiling and she smiled back at him, enjoying the calm and playful morning wake-ups with him. 

”We’re leaving tomorrow, already.” She said.

”Yeah, time just flew by.” He answered. ”I’m looking forward to it, though. 

”Me too.” She looked at him for a while, biting her lip, as if contemplating what to say next. He looked at her, quizzically, waiting for her to speak. 

”Ethan?” She said in a small voice.

”Yes?” 

”There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while now.” She looked up at the ceiling as she spoke, as if uncertain about what she was going to say.

”Okay..” he said as he watched her sit up, take another pillow on her side and put it behind her back, leaning against the bedframe.

She turned to look at him and he could see the determination in her eyes, she was not going back from this conversation.

”Some time ago you asked me about the scars on the back of my neck. I didn’t tell you then. I wasn’t ready.” 

”Ilsa,” he interrupted. ”You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” He smiled gently at her. 

”No, Ethan, I want to tell you. I want you to know. But this is not a happy story.” He nodded at her words and waited patiently for her to speak. 

”You know my father was a spy too once. He worked for the British government, as well as my uncle John did. They were both good. While my father took on the more easy missions, my uncle went after the really bad guys. Got enemies everywhere he went. My father did as best as he could so that our family wouldn’t ever be endangered because of his job. My uncle tried that too, but since he attracted more unwanted attention it was just a matter of time before something bad happened. And one day it did.” She spoke slowly, in the voice she uses when debriefing, as if she was trying to distance herself from the story itself. 

”My uncle was happily married with one child. His wife’s name was Elisabeth and they had a child named Lina. Our houses were pretty close to each other and since Lina was only a year older than me we became best friends. We used to see each other almost every day.” She smiled softly to herself, lost in memory.

”One night, we decided to have a sleepover at her place. That night turned out to be the longest night of my life.” She closed her eyes for a few moments, collecting herself before she continued. 

”We had just finished dinner when someone koncked on the door and Lina answered it. Lina and a man dressed in black came into to the dining area and he had one arm around Lina’s middle and the other pointing a gun at her head.” Ethan lay silent on his side, listening intently as she spoke. 

”It didn’t take long before we were all tied up, hands and legs to the chairs. My uncle didn’t get one chance to jump at him.” 

”He said someone had sent him to do a job. Someone who thought that my uncle stuck his nose places he shouldn’t be. He also said that it could just be a simple kill, bullet through the brain and he would leave. But that was just not how he did things. He did things his own way.” She was someplace else now, Ethan could see it in her eyes, the distant and faraway look in them. 

”He made me and my uncle watch.. as he did things to my cousin and aunt. Occasionally he would hurt me and my uncle too, but his main focus was on them. He smiled as he saw my uncle’s reactions to what he was doing.” She shook her head lightly. ”I sometimes still hear my cousin’s screams in my dreams.”

”He beat my aunt unconcious, to the point where I was sure she was dead, and I think he thought she was dead too. And then he slit my cousin’s throat. She bled out on the chair right in front of me and my uncle.” Her eyes were closed now and she stayed silent for a longer moment. 

”Ilsa?” Ethan moved to sit up, facing her on the bed and she opened her eyes again as if she just remembered where she was.

”Then he killed my uncle. After that he turned towards me. I was so scared. He told me he wouldn’t kill me. That I would live to tell the tale. And he told me his name was Z.T.”

”The scars on your neck.” Ethan mumbled, looking at her sadly. 

”Yeah, he wrote the initials with a knife. After that he said that maybe one day we would see each other again - that he’d come visit me. And then he left.” 

”Your aunt Elisabeth survived, right? I met her when we were in Sweden.” He asked. 

”Yes. It’s a wonder she made it. I couldn’t break free from the chair and it was hours until my father went to my uncle’s house to see why I had not come home home in the morning as I had promised and why we weren’t answering their calls.” She sighed.

”My poor father. He walked into a blood bath. A slaughter. And there I sat on the chair, bound and bleeding, no tears left, staring into nothing. Luckily my mother stayed at home and didn’t see it.” 

She shook her head lightly. His green eyes were glistening and so was her blue ones. 

”I never became the same person I once was after that. Neither did my aunt. She lost everything.” She finished, looking sadly at Ethan. 

”I’m so sorry, Ilsa. How old were you?” He took her hand in his gently, hoping she would accept the gesture, which she did.

”Fourteen. Lina had just turned fifteen.”

Ethan closed his eyes briefly. Poor Ilsa. To be only fourteen years and go through something like that. 

”And what happened to him? Z.T?” He asked. 

”They never found him. Arrived and disappeared without a trace. My father did all he could to find him but there was nothing. The police couldn’t find anything either. And I knew that I could never find peace until he would answer for his crimes. So I followed my father’s and uncle’s footsteps. I became a killer to find him.” 

”Ilsa.. this happened over 20 years ago.. did you find him?

”No.” She said bitterly. ”I’ve done all I can with investigating this privately, asking around. No one knows who he is. Some have heard of him, but it’s as if he’s just disappeared. Not a single trace of him.” She finished. 

”You’ve asked me about him once if I’m remembering right, haven’t you?” He asked gently. 

”Yeah. I mentioned him as a possible suspect when we were about to go on another mission, but it was non-important for the case. I try to ask around subtly.”

”I’m sorry, Ilsa. I truly am. But I am glad you told me.” He said, raising his hand to remove a strand of hair from her face. 

”I trust I won’t have to tell you that I don’t ever want you to speak of this to anyone. Except if you are talking to my family of course.” She said, smiling gently, her blue eyes shining with unshed tears.

”Of course not. We’ll find him - Z.T - one day. If he’s not dead already.” 

”I hope we will.” She answered and let out a shaky breath. 

”Ethan.. will you hold me?” 

He didn’t hesitate a single second. He put his arms around her, his back against the bedframe and hers against his chest. They lay like that, thinking about ghosts of the past, no secrets between them anymore. 

”How about pancakes?” Ethan asked after a while, making her giggle. She loved him for the abrupt change of subject, it was just what she needed and he knew it.

”Only if you make your blueberry chocolate pancakes that you’re so good at.” She showed her best puppy eyes (that only Ethan ever saw), turned around in his arms and rested her elbows on both his sides.

”Only if you promise to not eat the batter.” He raised his eyebrow at her. 

”I do not eat the batter!” She protested.

”Oh, yes you do.” He chuckled. 

”Fine.” She said in defeat. ”I won’t eat it if you promise to make your pancakes for breakfast to my family when we’re in Sweden.” Before he protested she continued. ”Come on, the kids will love your pancakes and they will love you.” She smiled.

”They already love me.” He teased, thinking of what a great first impression he made on her nieces and nephews when he visited the first time. He gave the best piggyback rides and he was really good at the sports that they played in the garden. He had also been the first person ever to come even close to Ilsa’s skills in some of the sports, games and challenges they did - which the kids thought was very impressive. 

Ilsa’s family was active and they liked to challenge each other in physical activities and with Ethan competing it had been something entirely new since now Ilsa wasn’t always the winner. Both spies were very comptetitive too so it had been very amusing for Ilsa’s family to watch them fight as if it was life and death at silly games and competitions such as push-ups and throwing darts. Ethan could swear he heard Ilsa’s brother saying something like ”and these are the people who are saving the world.” They also realised how much Ilsa had been holding back before.

”I know they love you already, but they’ll love you even more if you make these pancakes, I promise you.” She smiled.

”Fine.” He said, as she leaned closer and they kissed slowly, savouring the moment. He pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. 

”Mm, as much as I’d like to continue this, I am starving. And you’ve promised me pancakes.” She mumbled against his lips. 

”Come on, then.” He said as they got out of bed. He put on a pair of boxers, she a pair of underwear and one of his oversized t-shirts, and they joined in the kitchen to make some breakfast. 

 

~ Eleven days after arriving at the hospital ~

 

”God, this is just too much, stop it.” She said, laughing hard, but Ethan could tell she was exaggerating. She liked that the team was making her laugh, even if it slightly hurt when she was laughing so hard that her whole body shook.

”Now, Ilsa. There’s just one more thing I haven’t dared to ask you about yet. Benji is so sure he’s right while I believe it was just too good to be fake. When you were about to tell Mikhailov the password the first time you started having big trouble breathing. It was real, wasn’t it?” Luther asked.

Ilsa smiled as she was sitting up on the bed, leaning her back against the pillows. Ethan, Benji, Brandt and Luther were all looking at her.

”I’m sorry,” she said, ”but I’m afraid Benji is right. It was fake.”

”I told you!” Benji exclaimed.

”Fake? I’ve seen lots of people getting attacks like that and it looks exactly like how you did it.”

”Oh, Luther, come on. She’s Ilsa there’s-nothing-in-this-world-she-cannot-do Faust.” The team laughed at Benji’s words while Ilsa got slightly embarrassed. 

”Why, thank you Benji. I’m not sure about that, but thanks.” She shook her head in amusement. ”Luther, you didn’t think it was a bit convenient that it happened when I was just about to tell him the password?” She raised her eyebrow slightly. 

”Of course I did. Very convenient. I’m just saying that the performance was so perfect you had even me fooled.” Luther smiled at her as her cheeks had reddened slightly at the compliments from both Benji and Luther. 

”Oh stop it. You’re embarrassing me now.” 

”Guys, this is really happening - Ilsa is blushing. And not when it has anything to do with Ethan. Everyone look at her and memorize this image in your brain for future teasing.” The team laughed even harder at Benji’s words this time and Ilsa closed her eyes at their childishness while she couldn’t hide her own smile. 

”Okay, okay. That’s enough for now, guys.” Ethan said after a few more moments, but he was still smiling and trying to contain his own laughter. 

”Yeah, you should get some rest now, Wonder Woman.” Benji smiled at her. 

”You just keep on doing your thing and you’ll be back sooner than you should be able to. As always.” He gave her a reassuring nod and Luther and Brandt said their goodbyes as well. 

”See you tomorrow. We’ll be here by 7:15 to pick you guys up. It feels good to go home.” Brandt said. 

”Yeah, it does.” Ilsa answered, taking Ethan’s hand in hers. Her parents had left yesterday and today she had been given permission by the doctors to fly back to USA where she would check into a hospital for a while longer. Her leg had healed as well as it could have and all the nerves seemed to be working as normal. 

However, what they still didn’t know were the complications that might arise when she starts to use the leg again. If she was unlucky she would have to live with some pain and possibly cramps. Fortunately, since she is very physically fit there is a bigger chance that she will make it without any complications.

Early in the morning the next day she and the team were leaving by private jet since the IMF were eager to get the team back in for a proper debriefing and future missions. They had stayed a bit longer than what is usual going by the IMF’s regulations, but since it was a special situation the secretary had agreed to them staying. The team had also been able to do some necessary paperwork that they should have done weeks ago which was good.

The situation they all had been through was what can be described as a living hell, but now they were finally going home.

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the flashback! The idea is inspired by Angelina Jolie’s character in the movie Wanted (2008). It’s dark (you must have realised I’m a sucker for angst by now) but I like the idea.
> 
> Also, I added fluffy Ethan/Ilsa pancakes teasing so you should give me some credit for writing happy things ;)
> 
> The next chapter might be the last one before this story is finished. 
> 
> Please comment what you think about this chapter :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter, guys! Thank you so much for reading this story, commenting etc, and I hope you like how it turns out!

~ Eight months later ~

”That’s really good.” Ilsa sighed at the contact. 

Ilsa was lying on her back on the couch, her left leg in Ethan’s lap, him sitting up with his fingers massaging her knee. 

”You should have told me, Ilsa.” He said to her as he could see the relief on her face as his fingers did wonders to the aching knee. 

”No.. Ethan, I don’t know. It hasn’t hurt like this before, I swear. It’s just, that new workout thing with the knee bending that I’ve done last week. It started out well but suddenly yesterday the pain just exploded.” She groaned as he hit a spot where there was a mix of pleasure and pain. 

”You should have told me then. Not now when I had to practically beg you to tell me what was wrong. I could see the pain in your eyes, Ilsa.” 

”You do not get to lecture me about not telling people about their injuries, Ethan Hunt.” She said sternly. ”And I thought the pain might pass. Ouch!” She let out. ”I mean, everything has been so well. It has barely hurt at all in the past, what, four months?” She continued.

”Like on the mission in Uganda when we lost radio contact and were on our own, hunted by the Mbada’s, hiking up and down those mountains for two days. It didn’t hurt one bit. And those mountains should have hurt just about anyone. I remember your knees aching, old man.” She smirked at him. 

”Careful now.” He gave her a offended look, stopping his ministrations for a second, but she could see the smile twitching at his lips and she laughed. 

”Okay, I’m sorry: Please continue.” She said and he took some more of the ointment on his fingers as he continued massaging her leg.

They stayed like that for a while longer. 

”I think that’s enough, love.” She said when it barely ached anymore and his fingers froze on her leg.

”You sure?” He asked. 

”Yes, it feels much better.” She answered as he let go of her leg and she got off the couch, walking around in their living room. 

”Hah!” She exclaimed. ”I feel nothing. That’s strange. It must have only been something temporary.” She said as she even bent her knee without any pain. 

She walked around the back of the couch and put her arms around his chest, making him turn his head so that their lips could meet in a gentle kiss. 

”Thank you.” She said as they broke apart. ”And I won’t do those exercises again.” She laughed gently and their lips met again. 

A phone call interrupted the kiss and they both groaned at the sound. Ethan moved out of her arms to get her cell phone on the table and gave it to her. 

”Ilsa.” She answered.

”Hey, Brandt. Yeah he’s here with me. Ha ha, that is very funny. Okay. We’ll be there in 20 minutes. Bye.” She hung up on the phone and turned to Ethan.

”Ready for another mission, cowboy?” 

~ IMF headquarters ~

”Ethan my leg is fine, I feel nothing now, and if you even mention my leg when we get inside there, you are in deep trouble.”

”Fine. I trust you not to do anything stupid, especially since it doesn’t concern just you, but the rest of the team too if something happens.” He realised the words were harsh but they were also true. 

”I’m fine, okay?” She snapped at him, something she rarely does, as they walked through the corridor. Ethan halted a little in his step and she sighed and stopped completely. 

”I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you, I know you’re only looking out for me and the team, but I need you to trust me, Ethan.” She finished her sentence with an accusing tone. ”Or don’t you trust me?” She said.

”Of course, I trust you. I’m sorry, I just-.. I’m worried about you, is all.” He took her hand gently in his. 

”Don’t be. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.” She said, lightening the mood and he chuckled at her words.

She moved closer to him and just as they were about to kiss they heard a voice.

”Oh, come on, you don’t have to do it everywhere.” Luther said as he and Benji came up to them. Benji was laughing at Luther’s words. 

”Good to see you too, Luther.” Ilsa said and pressed a kiss to Ethan’s lips just to tease their two friends who had arrived, before they all walked towards the room Brandt had called them too.

”Let’s see where we will be going today then.” Benji said. ”Hmm, I haven’t been in Africa for a long time.” 

”Oh no, I hope we don’t go there, it was almost 45 Celsius when we were there a few missions ago.” Ilsa sighed. ”And the mosquitos were killing me.”

”No, they were trying to kill you, as well as a whole army of pissed off mercenaries.” Ethan corrected, smiling.

”I wonder what you did to piss them off.” Benji said in amusement. 

”Actually, Ethan was the one who pissed them off, and I had to answer for it.” She said, smirking at Ethan. ”You still owe me for that one.” 

”I do.” He said as they walked inside the room, finding Brandt alone, who stood up from the chair when he saw them.

”Hey guys, ready for another mission?” Brandt said as they all sat down in the chairs around the table, facing the wall with a big screen on it.

”Not Africa.” Ilsa said dead serious and the team laughed at her words. 

”You’re lucky, Ilsa. It’s Asia this time.” Brandt answered and pressed a button showing a picture of a man. 

”This man, Jeremy Simmons, has been rumoured for long to be the right hand man for Mark Truce,” a picture of another man showed up on the screen. ”Who is also known as The White Devil. Silly name, I know, but we believe he’s responsible for at least one of the gas attacks in Middle East and several bombings in both Asia and Africa. We have high reason to believe he was involved in an arms deal in China a couple of days ago and has at least four large bombs in his possession. And we need to find these bombs.”

Another picture showed up on the screen.

”Jeremy Simmons was just seen in Hong Kong, this picture of him was taken just a few hours ago where he is on a boat with several men who we believe are somehow working with The White Devil. We don’t know who they are, facial scans have given us nothing yet but we are working on it. Hopefully it’ll give us something.” The photograph disappeared and a map of Hong Kong was shown on the screen. 

”What I want you-.” He started, but was interrupted.

”Can you show that picture again?” Ilsa asked quietly. 

”The boat?” He said as he got it back up on the screen. 

Ilsa nodded as she stood up, walking closer to the screen. 

”Can you zoom in on this man, right there to the left?” She pointed and Brandt did as she said. 

”Ilsa, what is it? Do you recognize anyone?” Brandt asked.

She stood silent for a few moments, studying the photograph before she turned around, looking at Ethan. 

”It’s him.” She said, disbelief evident in her voice. It took him a few moments until her words sunk in. 

”Are you sure?” Ethan got up from his chair and walked over to her to get a closer look too. 

”Him?” Brandt asked dumbly but his question was ignored. 

”I’m sure. The tattoos on his neck, the scar above his right eye. It’s him, Ethan.” Her blue eyes had an intense look that he saw only when she figured something out or had a bright idea.

”Who’s ”him”?” Brandt asked impatiently and Luther and Benji nodded as if they also wanted to know what the hell was going on. Ilsa was clearly affected by who she saw on the screen, her face a mixture of excitement and fear. 

”He’s the man who murdered my cousin and uncle right in front of my eyes.” She answered as if she was answering a question about the weather. She knew she had to tell them. He was right there on the screen, they were going after him and so she couldn’t hide this from the rest of the team.

”What?” Benji asked in shock. They were all looking at Ilsa now. 

She told them a not as detailed version of the events as she had told Ethan once, but the most important parts. 

”I’ve never ever seen him again, not even on a picture, and here he is.” She finished, looking back at the screen. 

It took the team a few moments to collect themselves and Ilsa and Ethan waited patiently for their reaction. 

”Z.T. The man Mikhailov talked about.” Luther said quietly and Ilsa nodded. 

”I’m sorry for what happened, Ilsa. I truly am.” He sounded gentle as he spoke but his voice turned more authoritative as he continued. 

”We don’t know more about him than what you have told us now, Ilsa, and we don’t know what part he plays in this. He could be important.” Brandt hesitated a moment. 

”I need to know you won’t get.. personal.. if I send you out there, Ilsa.” He said carefully.

She gave him a dark look. 

”I can follow orders. But I want to go after that man.” She said, speaking the truth, which she knew was best in a situation like this. 

Brandt nodded his head. 

”He’s clearly somehow working with Jeremy Simmons, so I see no reason for you not to take him in for questioning. See what he’s up to.” Brandt continued. 

”However, the most important part is finding Jeremy Simmons and following him, see if it leads to the bombs. But you are four in your team, so Luther and Benji - you take Simmons, while Ilsa and Ethan take this man.. Z.T.” He said. 

”Thank you.” She said to Brandt who nodded to her in return. 

”Your private plane leaves for Hong Kong in an hour and you will get more details once you’re on the plane. Good luck. Be safe.” He finished, smiling at his friends as they got up from the chairs. 

”Ilsa, can I have a word with you?” Brandt said and the team left Ilsa and Brandt alone in the room. 

”Brandt..” she began but he shook his head lightly. 

”I trust you, Ilsa. I trust you won’t do anything to endanger the operation, to endanger the team.” He sounded stern but he eyed her with a concerned look in her eyes.

”I won’t.” She said. ”But if this man tries anything, if he attacks us, we’ll need to defend ourselves.” She continued. 

”Yes, of course. But I want you get him alive if you can, Ilsa. He could be important if things go wrong for Benji and Luther.” 

”Yes, sir.” She answered, smiling a little as the second word slipped out without thinking.

”Stop with that now, Ilsa. I’ll kill Benji for giving you all that idea.” Ever since Brandt had left the team for a higher position, desk job at the IMF, the team had been teasing him by calling him ”sir” and such formalities, Benji’s idea, and Brandt hated it. The funny thing is they have gotten so used to teasing him that the word slips out without even thinking.

”Sorry. But I mean it, we’ll take him alive if we can.” She said. 

”I hope you find him, Ilsa. Good luck.” He said, giving her a quick hug which she returned before she joined the team in the corridor and together they went to the plane that would take them to Hong Kong, and possibly the man who had destroyed her life. 

~ 47 hours later ~

Things were going very well for Benji and Luther. The same thing could not be said for Ethan and Ilsa.

”We’ve got both Simmons and the bombs. We’re on our way to the safe house and we’re not being followed.” Luther’s words echoed in their earpieces. 

At the same time, Ethan and Ilsa were running through the streets of Hong Kong, chasing Z.T and a man called Aron, another one of Simmons associates. Both IMF agents had lost their guns when fighting three of Simmons men. The last two men, Z.T and Aron, ran away and now Ilsa and Ethan were chasing them on foot, unarmed.

”Good job! We’ll take care of the rest of them.” Ethan managed to say, as he continued the chase.

As Z.T and Aron split up, going in different directions, Ethan and Ilsa had no other choice to do the same and Ethan went after Aron as Ilsa went after Z.T.

As they ran into an empty alley, rain pouring down, Ilsa caught up with Z.T and jumped at him with a knife in hand, which he blocked and they both went down. Ilsa landed on top, raising the knife once again but he grabbed her arm hard as she tried to bring it down and he held it firmly in place. 

She knocked him hard in the face with her left hand. He barely reacted and used his other hand to grab the back of her head, pulling her head down as he pulled his own up and headbutted her hard, making her groan and see stars. In her short moment of disorientation he grabbed the knife in her hand and threw it far away before he kicked her off of him, and Ilsa landed with her back into one of puddles that had formed on the street by the rain. 

”Aron is down. Running towards you, Ilsa, what’s your status?” Ethan’s voice could be heard in her ear.

”I prefer a fair fight. No weapons.” Z.T said to her as he slowly got up on his feet. He waited for Ilsa to stand up, which she did a bit shakily, but now stood steady on both feet, staring angrily at the man in front of her. She wiped with the back of her hand at the blood streaming down her face from the wound that had opened up on her forehead. 

”Do I know you? I feel like I’ve seen you before.” He said, studying her face. 

”You should remember me. My face will be the last thing you see before you die.” She said before she lunged at him, blocked his fist with her arm and climbed up on him, wrapping her legs around his neck. Before she was able to bring him down, he grabbed her and threw her off of him, making her fall onto the ground once more. This time he was quick to get to her and before she was able to defend herself he had straddled her middle, holding her hands down on the ground with his own. 

”Ilsa, what’s your status?!” Ethan asked again, louder this time, in her earpiece. 

”I do know you. And you seem angry. Have I fucked you once?” He asked.

”No.” She tried to break her arms free, in vain. ”No, you did worse than that.” 

He studied her. 

”Have I hurt someone you know? Killed someone?” He smirked at her face.

As she was just about to headbutt him, he all of a sudden felt a movement to his left, and as he brought his arm up in protection, the foot of Ethan Hunt collided with his arm, and you could hear Z.T's arm crack even in the pouring rain. Once again, no reaction came from Z.T as he got up and knocked Ethan hard in the face with his uninjured hand, making Ethan stumble back a few steps. 

Ilsa was back on her feet in no time and and landed several punches to Z.T's face and chest before he kicked her in the stomach, making her lose her breath momentarily. 

Ethan lunged at him, throwing kicks and punches that Z.T was very good at blocking. Ethan noticed he was a very skilled fighter, fast and strong and he felt no pain. 

Ilsa attacked Z.T from the other side and the three fought for a few moments before Z.T managed to land an elbow hard in the back of Ethan’s head, making him fall to the ground. 

Ilsa kept fighting as she saw Ethan lying still on the ground, unconscious. She managed to break Z.T’s nose and she once again tried to get on top and whip him down to ground with her legs and this time it worked. Sort of. He read her movements well and pushed her slightly off so she landed on top of him, straddling his chest with her legs instead of his neck. 

Ilsa tried to punch at his throat. Since he couldn’t feel anything maybe at least he’d have trouble breathing if she hit him there, but he was quick to grab her arm and hit her on the side of her face with his free arm. Almost as if in slow motion she could feel how she landed in the mud puddle, disoriented by the strength of his blow and felt him turn her over onto her stomach, making her face splash into the dirty water. 

She spit out water, coughing, as he straddled her backside. He grabbed both her hands and held them together tightly with one hand against her back. 

”I need to check something.” He said as his free hand went to feel at the back of her neck.

”Ah, I knew it. Now, my memory is not the best. Before we have our little fun, would you like to tell me who you are?” She waited a few moments to catch her breath. 

”Sweden, 1997. You murdered my cousin and aunt in front of me. I was fourteen, my cousin was fifteen. She was just a child.” She gritted out through her teeth. 

”Aaah.” He was quiet for a few seconds. ”Ilsa, right? That’s your name. I remember you now. The blue eyes, the high cheekbones, the angry look. You begged me to hurt her instead of you.” He chuckled darkly. 

”Oh, that was fun.” He said smiling to himself as Ilsa’s anger was taking over her at his words. 

Ilsa had to do something. She couldn’t get her arms free so she threw her head back at him, luckily hitting him in the throat, making him release his grip on her hands. She quickly whipped them over, her back on the ground as she straddled his neck with her thighs, squeezing as hard as she could. 

He clawed at her everywhere he reached, and she pulled her upper body back as much as she could so he couldn’t reach her head. 

She groaned as his hands found her foot and twisted it, but she pushed all the pain away, letting her anger take over, motivating her. Eventually his hands stopped clawing at her, and soon his body was limp. She could have stopped there. Bring him in alive. But Luther and Benji had Simmons and the bombs - their mission was complete. She made her decision. She waited longer than she knew was necessary, but finally she relaxed the grip around his neck. 

Ilsa waited a few moments to regain her breath before she sat up and put two fingers on his throat. He was gone. 

She stood up, limping over to Ethan where he lay unconscious. His head lay in a puddle that had been colored slightly red by the blood coming from the back of his head. She lifted his head up, pulling some hair away to inspect the gash, breathing out when realising it was nothing too serious, just a very well placed hit if you wanted to knock someone out cold. 

She put his head down in her lap and gently stroked his bloodied face. She noticed his nose was swollen, probably broken. 

”Ethan.” She said. ”Ethan.” He groaned, slowly opening his eyes. 

”There you are.” She said, smiling softly. 

Suddenly, Ethan and Ilsa could hear the worried voices of Benji and Luther in their earpieces and she decided to speak to them first.

”Benji? Luther? Ilsa here.” She said. 

”Ilsa?! Are you okay? Where’s Ethan?” Benji’s worried voice spoke immediately. 

”I’m fine. A little bruised. Ethan’s here too, just waking up.” She answered. 

”Waking up? Is he okay? What happened?” Benji continued. 

”Woah, slow down, Benji. I’m okay.” Ethan mumbled, but he decided not to try and sit up just yet. 

”And Z.T?” Luther asked.

”Dead.” Ilsa answered. Ethan looked at her as she said the words. A short silence lasted before they could hear Luther’s voice again. 

”Okay, stay where you are, we’ll be there in 15 minutes.” Luther said and they could hear the engine roaring.

”Roger that.” Ilsa answered and it became silent. It had stopped raining and she could now hear the sound of traffic not too far away. 

Ethan decided to try and sit up, and while his head ached badly, he did it without too much wincing. He turned around slowly, getting closer to her. 

”You okay?” He asked gently, studying her face. 

”He’s gone.” She simply said. He nodded his head slightly, regretting the action immediately as pain exploded through his head. She could see his face getting almost green, as if he was about to throw up.

”Okay, you need to lie down.” She said, taking off her jacket, putting it on the ground and lowering his head down onto it. Since he wasn’t protesting she knew he must have a bad concussion. 

”Stay there.” Ilsa put her hand gently to his cheek before she got up and limped over to Z.T’s body. Her own head was spinning, she probably had a concussion too, a mild one, but the adrenaline had taken over her body and she continued. She checked his pockets, finding a wallet, a few pieces of paper and some change. Then she ripped a few strands of hair off his head and put them in the wallet before she put the wallet and papers in her own jeans pockets.

She looked at his face one last time. It was over. He was gone.

She stood up once more and went to get her knife that Z.T had thrown away, before she walked back to Ethan and sat down next to him. She sighed and closed her eyes for a few moments, holding her hand against her forehead as she felt the gash still bleeding slightly.

“How’s your leg?” He looked at her.

“Fine. Before you say it, it’s not my knee, my knee doesn’t hurt at all, just like I told you.” She said, opening her eyes to look at him and gave him a small smile.

“If it’s not your knee, then why are you limping?” He asked.

“Well, as I was squeezing the life out of him he fought back, twisted my ankle. I don’t think it’s broken though, probably just a sprain.” She answered.

“Okay.” He answered as she pulled out the wallet from her pockets. She rummaged through it and pulled out what looked like an ID Card.

“Carl Zander Thomas Padgett.” She spoke out loud.

“The initials was his middle name.” Ethan mumbled.

“Yes.” She continued. “He’s from Mississippi, apparently. If it’s not fake, of course. Born 1970.” She swallowed. “He was only 27 when he did it.”

Ethan looked at her sympathetically as she put the ID Card away, going through the rest of the wallet, apparently not finding anything more of interest as she put it away.

They didn’t have to wait much longer before a grey van pulled into the alley. Soon they were inside the car, Luther providing them basic first aid as Benji drove towards the airport.

Ilsa knew what she was going to do next. First they would go back to the States for debriefing, then she would ask for at least one week’s leave, which she knew she would get with all the vacation days she had left and since she had an injured foot. Then she would fly back home to Sweden and tell her family that it was over. That he was gone.

~ Five days later ~

She sat on the top of the cliff, looking out at the ocean. The sound of waves was something she had always enjoyed, ever since she was a child she would come to this cliff and watch as the waves hit the shore. It was a perfect spot to watch the sunset too and since it was just 20 meters away from her parents backyard she had spent a lot of time here. The spot was hidden behind a large bush so she could never be seen from the garden, which she had always liked, even when her parents knew they could almost always find her there.

She heard footsteps and turned her head as Ethan sat down on her right, looking out at the ocean.

“Your parents told me I would probably find you here.” He turned his head and smiled at her.

She smiled back.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to leave. I just needed a moment alone and I’ve always liked this place.”

“Do you want to be alone now?” He asked.

“No. Stay.” She smiled and took his hand.

They sat in silence, listening to the waves, the wind and birds as the sun was slowly getting lower in the sky.

“They’re still gone.” She said quietly after a while. He looked at her, puzzled.

“I thought.. after he was gone.. that they would be at peace. That I would find peace.” She shook her head lightly. “But killing him doesn't change the fact that they’re still dead.” She said.

He moved closer to her and put his arm around her back.

“They’re at peace, Ilsa. And because of you, he can’t hurt anyone anymore. That, if anything, should be a comforting thought.” He said.

“I’m glad he’s dead. I’m glad I killed him.” She said bitterly.

“It’s okay to feel that way. I don’t think anyone in your position wouldn’t, Ilsa.”

“You witnessed something terrible - when you were only a child - something that no one should ever have to go through, something that would break most people.” He said.

“It broke me.” She said matter of factly.

“Maybe it did. But look at you now, Ilsa. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. I don’t see you as broken and I find it hard to believe that anyone would.”

She turned her head and found his green eyes looking at her with pride and love.

“You’re free now, Ilsa. So are Lina and John.” He smiled gently and her blue eyes were shining with tears. She took a deep breath and nodded.

“Yeah.” she huffed. “Yeah.” She let a small laugh, as one tear escaped her eye.

“I love you, Ethan Hunt. I hope you know that.” She smiled.

“Oh, I know.” He said, wiping the tear from her cheek. “I love you too.”

She lay her head on his shoulder and his own head rested lightly against her hair, breathing in her scent as they together watched the sun disappear below the horizon.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you thought!
> 
> Once again, thank you so much for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about grammar, English is not my first language.  
> 


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